金星毒舌搞笑语录
金星，中国著名现代舞蹈家，上海金星现代舞蹈团团长兼艺术总监。本文将介绍金星毒舌搞笑语录。
金星毒舌搞笑语录(1)
1.大多数人不见得理解真正的“性感”是什么。 “性感”被这个社会的“有色眼镜”贴了张标签：前凸后翘，领口往下走。男权社会里的“性感”说到底，不过是以“性”释词，来满足男人对“性”的遐想。 滥夸女人“性感”表面是一种溢美，无形间不过是哄着你连同你的“性感”一起消费了一把。好笑的是，越来越多的女人还拼命挤进那个“S”中乐意被消费。
2.人不犯我，我不犯人，人若犯我，礼让三分，人若再犯，斩草除根。
3.真诚面对自己的人生。当命运碰到需要抉择时，要聆听的不是别人的声音，而是自己内心深处最真诚的声音。
4.人要贵,衣服再贵没有用.
5.最美好的不是未来，是今天。
6.性感是让男人追着屁股跑的，不是放在桌面上的，放在桌面上的.不是性感，是猪肉。
7.生活是最好的编剧，脆弱的歌声在温馨的画面前显得是多么的苍白无力。
8.也会有人追寻成熟的男人。只是成熟不代表他的经济基础成熟，而是指责任。成熟的男人一定要负责任。对女人、对社会、对自己做的事要负责，无论是对是错，都要承担。成功了就光明磊落大声宣布，是自己的过错就直面担当，好的坏的我都敢扛。哪怕是扛着一堆麻烦，一堆误会，但只要扛起来，时间就会告诉你你担当着什么。我欣赏为自己错误买单的男人。
9.提醒一点，最好不要找正处在事业巅峰期的男人。他可能是你想要的那种成功男性，但你不一定会是他真正需要的女人。每个男人的精力、能力和荷尔蒙都有高潮和 低潮，当他没有达到高潮时，他需要女人承载他帮助他;当他到达高潮时，就会肆无忌惮、无所顾忌;当他从高潮降落时，他才会清醒地知道自己需要什么样的女 人。聪明的女人要学会在什么时候接触什么样的男人。在男人忘乎所以的时候就离他远一点，那时候的他不真实。
金星毒舌搞笑语录(2)
等我女儿长大了，我会告诉她!如果一个男人心疼你挤公交，埋怨你不按时吃饭，一直提醒你少喝酒伤身体，阴雨天嘱咐你下班回家注意安全，生病时发搞笑短信哄你……请不要理他!然后跟那个可以开车送你、生病陪你、吃饭带你、下班接你的人在一起……嘴上说的再好不如干一件实事!我们都已经过了耳听爱情的年纪。
When my daughter grows up, I will tell her this: If a man says he feels bad because you commute in a crowded bus, complains that you don’t have meals regularly, keeps reminding you that drinking too much is bad for health, tells you to be careful on your way home on a rainy day, sends funny messages to you when you are sick in bed...Just ignore him! Stay with the man who drives you to work, accompanies you when you are sick, takes you to dinner, picks you up after work...A thousand sweet words are nothing against a real thing. We all have passed the age that takes words for love.
人要贵，衣服再贵没有用。
Expensive clothes are useless if the person wearing them is not noble.
女人，该给你的都会给你，还没给你的，等着。等待是一门学问。
Woman, everything meant for you will come to you. If they have not come, just wait. Waiting is a skill that is learned.
像咱们靠谱一点的端午节中秋节是好的，西方节日你那么激动干什么，你看现在什么都是节日了，烦不烦啊?什么父亲节，母亲节，光棍节，平安夜，真是瞎折腾，孝敬你妈还分日子的啊?
Some festivals in our country, such as Dragon Boat Festival and Mid-Autumn Festival are good enough. Why are you so excited about western festivals? It is tiresome to have so many festivals—Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Singles’ Day, Silent Night...which are indeed a waste of time and energy, who needs a special date to give presents to his/her mother?
一个女人，物质上不依赖你，精神上不依赖你，那么请问你，要你干什么?对女人不要要求太高了。又美又会做饭的，那是美的电饭煲。又可爱又永远不会老的，那是樱桃小丸子。又经济独立又以你为中心的，那是你妈。又美又可爱又会做饭又永远不会老又经济独立又以你为中心的，那是你妈正用着美的电饭煲给你煮樱桃小丸子。
If a woman does not depend on you for material or emotional support, then why does she have you? Don’t be too demanding on women. Who can be beautiful and good at cooking? Midea electric cooker. Who can be cute and never grow old? Chibi Maruko. Who is economically independent and put you first? Your mum. And who is both beautiful and cute, good at cooking and never grow old, economically independent and put you first? It’s your mum using Midea electric cooker to stew Chibi Maruko for you.
人不犯我，我不犯人，人若犯我，礼让三分，人若再犯，赶尽杀绝。
I will never attack others if they leave me alone. If other people attack me, I will respond with politeness. If they attack me again, I will chase them to the end of the world.
30岁的女人穿衣服不必重款式，要重视面料，30岁的女人要是没有男人爱，那么一定要找面料好的衣服来庇护自己。
A 30-something woman should care less about the style but care more about the fabric when she buys clothes. If a 30-something woman has no man to love her, at least she has clothes of good fabric to protect her.
高贵的女人看她的鞋。精致的女人看她的指甲。性感的女人看她的香水。气质的女人看她的手表。拜金的女人看她的包包。感性的女人看她的文章。贤惠的女人看她的拿手菜。浪漫的女人看她的睡衣。小资的女人看她的化妆包……我看完发现我好像不是女人!赶紧掏出身份证一看，性别：女。心里才踏实了些。太不容易了，一样没占，活的还挺带劲的!
Judging a noble woman by her shoes, an exquisite woman by her nails, a sexy woman by her perfume, an elegant woman by her watch, a money-worshipping woman by her bag, an emotional woman by her writings, a virtuous woman by her specialty dish, a romantic woman by her pajamas, a woman with petty bourgeoisie sentiments by her makeup bag…Upon reading this it suddenly dawns on me that I may not be a woman! I take out my identity card and it comforts me to see the gender is “woman”. It’s so rare for me to be a woman who is none of those and still live a great life!
欲望迅速膨胀，自我的内核却越来越弱。我看得太多，很多所谓的名女人都是“国际物流”，背后就拖着几大箱集装箱，里面什么都没有，就是“装”着。她们被抬得很高，可是经不起晃。我只想踏踏实实地走，对真实的坚持会成为我的保护伞。
As the desire swells rapidly, the inner self is weaker and weaker. I have seen too many famous women who are “international logistics” essentially. They are towed with a number of big containers, which are all empty but they pretend they are not. They are carried so high but cannot stand a little shaking. As for me, I want to walk on real ground, and protect myself by sticking to reality.
以前韩剧三宝车祸癌症治不好，现在是长腿欧巴爱洗澡。
The magic weapons of Korean TV series in the past are car crashes and cancer which is incurable, nowadays the magic weapons are handsome young man with long legs who enjoy bathing.
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